Tuesday
Magdeline~
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
do i have to choose ? amongst my friends .. i mean i have two group of friends .. actually , they've i grouped them up ... one side is the smarty chics another side is the happy go lucky , well not so lucky ... when i need help in studies , i go to the smarty chics .. when im just normal , myself , i mix with my usual gang , the happy go lucky ones ... always laughing , talking , and just talk ... so there was once , not long ago , i had some complications with the happy go lucky gang , so i've been with the smarty chics .. and now that we're fine again , one of the smarty chic , wasn't quite happy with it .. she was a lil paranoid bout it ... and so i really don't know what to do .. i mean , i want to be free to make friends .. i just want to live a normal life .. and oh , these two gang just can't get along ... well its quite confusing ... id friends bout choosing ... tho she doesn't show it , except her paranoid thingy , i know she's really not happy bout it ... its like "you gotta choose one side" attitude .. i hate living in the world of pretense like everything is alright ! when it is not at all ! i was so emo today... real emo emo ... i didn't talk , just study , be cool ... but i couldn't take it , i went behind the hall and just cry it out ... no one came to my rescue .. it's alright ... then i went to the happy go lucky gang , sat and just suddenly cried .. they asked why .. i procrasinated .. to tell or not to tell .. in the end , i just said it out .. i had to .. if not it'll be so hard for them to understand my unpredictable attitude ... then my bestie told me , im free to mix ... but she just want me to be myself ... but how do i be myself when things are not alright ..