its been long since i open my blogspot .. and friends are posting and posting bout their feelings , thought , life ... i somehow feel not me anymore .. time in college pass really fast ... i just entered not long ago n next week's exam .. i've not seen 3 of my closest friend and so much has happened , and i don't even know what's going on ! sometimes i ask myself why did i enter college so early .. i had the chance to postpone my intake ..

but if i didn'y i wouldn't have posts in clubs now .. not that i hadap for the post , but i wouln't have chance in the next intake .. but i meet different people with different atitudes .. honestly , only one person in college right now i can get along really well and tell stuff to her .. tho i meet P first but i dunno why i can;t get along well with her .. izzit coz she' too perfect ? she's miss independent n im not ? she's miss smart and im not ? she's miss clean n im not ? u see , sometimes i wonder what's goin with people .. they tend to forget about other's feelings and go on with theirs ..

i've been thru a lot in college and i just dunno who to tell to .. when i needed text book to do homework , i borrowed P's .. she warned me , to take good care of it .. when i went back , i didn't want to touch the book ... but i had to .. i turned a few page and decided that i'll study when i get my book ... so i gave back to her the next day and she fliped it and checked it .. i kept quiet ..

then once she told me that she likes to be the best and number 1 .. i dun care .. then came english quiz where we're suppose to arrange 4 kinds of word structure .. my group obviously made the longest , aka more than 3 .. then she changed her and made it even longer ... so her group won .. she was of course happy and excited ..

now club ... i actually wanted to join the community sphere but when she also sadi she want to join it too , i immediately changed to sports sphere .. so it was time to recruit member ... of course we did our job , but she didn;t notice she was also recruiting my members and most of our meeting timing clashes together .. so few of m mem's have quitted the sphere .. i am definately upset but i just smile n act like its okay ... i can;t force them to do anything they dont like .. and this gal J , i was actually secretary of sports sphere .. and she wanting to be vice president .. who knew the lec choose some1 else instead of her .. and she showed her sad and forlorn face ... then suddenly she say " mag u give me ur secretary post la .. u become sponsor la .. u can talk what " ... i was tooot !!!!!!!!!!!! i kept quiet .. then she kept repeating .. in the end i said okay .. well , thinking at the positive side , i wouldn't be so busy if i let this post off ...

then another time , we're ask to do assignment on a famous person that inspires us ..so coincidently , our friend I n A choose the same person ... I is P's hostel mate .. so while me and A was in the lab doin our assignment , A suddenly cried .. i was shocked coz she never cried ! i ask what happened .. n she told me P called her n ask how is her assignment goin on .. A told her she din sleep the whole nite just t look forinfo and already did 200++ words .. then P straight forward told her to change her assignment coz she only wrote 200+ but I already wrote 800+ .. so its impossibe to ask I to change her topic .. but come and think off it , isn;t it unfair for A to change her topic too ? whatever more , their style of writting is different .. yes , probably u dun get more marks , but we dont know how the lec sees and mark ! wat if im also doin the same topic as sum1 else ? am i gonna change just because of that ? no ! i din ask for it to happen rite ! and P also commented on why we mustwrite on all these kind of people like beethoven , edison , a.g bell ... she wrote ne-yo as her inspiration coz he inspire her to write lyrics .. everyone has different inspiration .. did any1 laughed at what she wrote or who inspired her ? no .. so just back off a little ...

its not about back stabbing here .. probably people will think so .. but here im saying its not back stabbing .. these are what i've been thru and seen ... honestly , im scared being at this position .. i wish i have safe friendship .. i wish chris was here .... o liz ... i wish someone close to me is with me ... i really miss my close friends .. that's what i told dave ... there's nothing like them ... i wish it was all just a dream ...