what n how should i start ?

oh yeah .. what the hell is goin on .. i can't stand it anymore .. and no christine lee , i am not deleting this post no matter what .. what da hell is goin on between us 3 ?!!! no , 4 ! including bald david is who is fucking ns now .

things are getting from bad to worse . i thought we dun chat much like last time coz we're too fucking busy with our ass-pee-amses .. now what ? okay , probably me n liz don't even share much last due due to "you noe what happen" . n yeah , my fault . so now what ? and why ?

and now ure already keeping things even from chris ! i noe my timing in college damn bad when u try to get me out . but u r and will always be chris's number 1 . so why ?

im not siding , but i just need to know why . its like im looking at my own reflection last year . my fuckishly stuck-up-snobish-good-for-nothing attitude. im not saying u are what i written above. thats me yea .

here i am , trying to get u out, yam cha , chat , and hopefully get u to tell sum stuff. n chris , knitting as she's saying at home until college starts. stucked up . not knowing what is goin on. that u just suddenly not u. the liz we knew will share n be straight forward . the liz we noe now, procrasinates and hesitates when she wanna say sumting. the word "ah , nothing , forget bout it comes out."

all im begging u is just to tell , what is goin on . we used to share sumting so deeply. even the darkest n most hurting stuff .

what happen to the good old days ?
remember form 3 , where we'll sit at the corner at the most back of the class , talking ,sharing thoughts , crying n laffing together ? how me , mag as usual seperates when sumting happen n sits in front n suddenly scream n u both will come right to me.

form 4 , the changing room . where we'll sit in there just to get things cleared.

d 3 years, the canteen , like pot luck. koperasi , the prefects assult incident , the no manners rude attitude , where chris always n forever manages to escape. telling me the fucking worthless guys im looking at , which no is a fucking great one , but i am now unable to share or tell anything even when we fight.

what have we become ?

the term so near , yet so far keeps coming to my brain . just 2 hours away from chris n probably 45 mins away from liz . but we're all like long lost people.