pb , i dun feel like writting in ur chatbox la .. sorry k ... i'll just explain it here .. and please please bear in mind that im not perfect .. i have my flaws ... n i'll tell it all in here

first of all , thank you .. i do enjoy living my life the way i want it to be tho sometimes it still doesn't go my way .. but ... phebes .. that doesn't mean i don't complain .. i mean personally , i would think to myself o sometimes blab it outta nowhere "why am i not smart? why am i not thin n tall like my mum last time? why am i not rich? why am i different from my family? why can't i be like 'whoever' ? why this , why that ." so u see , i still question my thoughts n life .. but i know that i can't do anything because this is my fate (tho u dun believe in fate) .. but u see , i live this kind of life for almost 18 years .. n i kinda got used to the fact that im fat n not rich .. everytime i wanna buy something really expensive , i can only say to myself , "you're not rich" ..

second of all , i do not know what memorie it brought u .. but u can always tell me what it is .. i may not understand but i can be there for u to hear u out .

thirdly , like i said just now , im used to living what i have .. if my bro's not around n b4 i went up to kl , that one bottle of shampoo can last for about 2 month depending the frequency of usage .. n isn't it true to the fact that we should be humble ? i mean , not judging or anything , but whats the point of having so many when u only need to use one ? but in ur case , u have ur mum , u n ur 2 sisters .. n your tastes might be different .. so its no wonder why u have 3 bottles of shampoo in your home .

forth , i don't mind the awkwardness .. i know its hard talking to a stranger coz u haven't know that person yet . so i don't have much comment for this

fifth , does ur mum knows bout u n ivan ?

if she does :
from her point of view , maybe she just wants u to mix around (like u wrote what she told u) n know more people before u decide on who u should be with . well , that's what my mum told me too actually. but i just closed my ear to what she said . coz usually , mums like urs n mine , think that we would settle down to the guy that we are currently with . so u might think that she's being fussy n choosy , but remember what kind of person or what she'll think about .

from your view , i know how it feels .. n not just saying but i do coz i experienced the same thing when i was frist with my bf .. when my mum found out he was not rich n he was too from a broken family , she sorta hesitated with my relationship with his. but i didn't bother to what she wants me to do .. i mean , this is my relationship .. yes , who knows that i will get hurt or not , or maybe my relationship will have some ind of trouble .. but the thing is , i need to go thru it n experience it .. i can't expect my relationship to be so perfect that nothing will ever happen . she tried to hook me up with other guys (do not tell my bf) , her friends sons or whatever people she thinks is good . but i told her that i love my bf n nothing can change that . i do mix with other guys too . but not because i wanna get some one better . they can be a friend to me . n if its really love n fate , then who knows .. but after being with my bf for 2 years , i feel that my mum saw that he loves me (from looking at me after i drop him home , taking care of me while im sick , getting scolded from his parents for high phone bill and time wasted on me , crying for me :p ) this is just an assumption coz these happened when my mum was also there .

what im trying to say here is that , i did what i felt was right but at the same time not offending anyone . well at least i tried ..

so pb , u need to think .. u need to think what u want your outcome to be . do u think u will be with this guy for a long term ? do u feel is there a need to tell ur mum ? if there is , how would u wann tell her ? do u think ur relationship can change ur mum's thoughts bout love n u n him ? what u think u should n should not do ? well there are more .. n pb , here is where u can start thinking on how to solve this prob .. i can't really tell u how to solve because our situation might not be the same .

ps : im also not potraying that im lucky or anything . im telling u what i've gone thru .. it might not be much but it gave me an experience .